I’m 42 years old and I still struggle to pattern my life in a way that invites people to ask me why I’m different. I struggle to show unconditional love to people I love the most. All of this failure seems to have created difficulties with my grown kids, and I don’t want it to be the case with my daughter still living at home. It’s interesting how I can know God’s Word so well, and yet still express such disappointment with my kids.

I don’t know where they are spiritually. I pray that God takes each one and molds them into the person (or people) He wants them to be.

With my youngest daughter, I need incredible patience. She is the kind of person that will find what bothers you and continue doing it just to bother you. She doesn’t even seem to care much about punishment. She just wants to control every situtaion. We’re trying EVERYTHING to stop her from doing this.

Since my health turned south, God has reminded me that I need to do better. I can’t continue to think that everybody else is the problem. Perhaps, I’m the problem. Perhaps people are reacting my lack of love and for my lack of being a testimony of God’s love for us. I seem to take the sin my kids commit, personally. Why do I do that? Why do I take they’re rejection of the things of God personally. I guess I’m beginning to understand how God feels when His children sin against Him.

I’m praying that God will be me the ability to forgive people as He forgives me each time I commit sin against Him.