I was asked by several friends to blog about what’s going on with me the last couple of months. So, I guess I will. I don’t typically like talking about myself, but in light of what’s going on and the fact I CAN’T talk for another day and a half, will will.
I’m going to go back to the end of October, 2008. I got a little tickle in my throat which caused a MAJOR cough. It got progressively worse. I was sick with the cough for six weeks. It affected my voice, but not too badly. However, I just couldn’t stop coughing. It was terrible. I finally got back to work just before Thanksgiving. But, a week after Thanksgiving I was pretty much over it.
Fast forward to January. In the middle of January I got a little tickle and a cough, which got worse. On February 3, I lost my voice. I couldn’t talk well enough to broadcast. I felt like there was something in there…gunk (sorry to be so graphic). I thought I would be okay. That’s happened before. Typically cold or cough related illness I’m hoarse for a while, then it goes away. This time it hasn’t gone away. I have a terrible sounding voice and it’s lasted for almost a month.
On February 3, I went to the doctor. He put me on antibiotics thinking I had an upper resperatory infection. He also gave me some cough medicine. Unfortunately, it didn’t do anything for me. On February 24, I went back to the doctor to find out what we can do. He told me to take it easy — meaning, don’t over use my voice, and referred me to an Otolaryngologist.
On Friday, I met with my doctor. I told him I have a hiatal hernia, which had caused acid reflux before. I was told it created a voice issue with me before. He used a fiber-optic scope to look at my voice. It went in through my nose and went down into my voice. The doctor said my vocal cords looked red and swollen. He said there was damage, but it wasn’t irreversible. He didn’t seem certain about whether or not it was caused by acid reflux or not. He quickly put me on COMPLETE voice rest — no talking or whispering for three days. He also put me on two kinds of meds. One (Astelin) to get get rid of my congestion. I was also given Omeprazole to protect my esophagus from acid reflux.
It’s day two of no speaking. I cheated a little bit just to see if things were getting better. It’s not any better. If anything, it’s worse. So, I stopped making noise, hoping it will improve by the beginning of the week.
I’m trying to be positive about this. If I didn’t NEED my voice this week, I would settle back and wait for what God has for me. Unfortunately, my producer (and backup voice) is off Tuesday and Wednesday. The question is — will God give me my voice back? It’s not totally gone. I have a voice. But, it sounds like I have laryngitis. It sounds like I’m on the beginning or tail end of a cold, which I’m not.
I have been praying throughout all this that God would use this to bring me closer to Him. I truly want that. But, I also want my voice back. I’m sure you all understand. Unfortunately (or fortunately), this is NOT my timing. It’s not MY way. It’s HIS way. He has me in this situation to bring Him more glory. It’s more of Him. Less of me. I am HIS slave. He chose me, bough me, provides for me, disciplines me, and guides me just as any master does. But, the great thing is that relationship doesn’t end there. He calls me FRIEND. That’s the best relationship to have — a slave with a perfect master. Perhaps I’m going to start talking Monday and my voice is going to be back with no issues. THAT truly would be amazing and totally from God. Or, maybe He’s going to allow me to struggle for months so I’ll seek Him more often.
What ever the case, pray with me that God’s will would be done and that MY will would be overcome.