I have published stories about my health in months past and I’m going to be open about my health today as a way ease my fears and perhaps help someone who’s going through a similar experience.
In November I was experiencing unknown dizziness, light headedness, and other symptoms. I went through at battery of tests. The result? The doctors couldn’t find anything (don’t laugh) (Click here to see my journal about that).
Well, tomorrow starts another chapter on my journey through ‘life’ that a good friend calls ‘A journey to The City.’ Don’t get upset — everybody’s on that journey, some are just closer to The City than others. Others have a better idea of how close they are to The City because of the suffering they experience here on earth whether it’s through cancer, heart issues, or persecution.
Ever since April I’ve been having ‘issues.’ It kind of embarasing, actually. I’ll just say it — I’ve had a pain in my butt and issues passing ‘stuff’ that should be passed. Being the typical man, I just thought it was another ‘phase’ of getting old and that it would pass (no pun intended).
About 6 weeks ago I had a physical and the doctor asked if there were any ‘issues’ and I described them. Thinking he would just say, “That’s a part of getting older,” he didn’t. He said instead, “Hmmm, that’s not good, let’s get you scheduled for a colonoscopy.” So, that’s what I doing tomorrow.
What are the things going through my mind? A couple of things:
1. I’m concerned that they’re going to find something — cancer. I have a dear friend going through colin cancer right now and he’s struggling. I hate the thought of dying that way.
2. I’m concerned their going to find nothing — which will probably mean more probing and more questions about what’s going on inside my body.
However, spiritually I’m thinking other things.
1. Is this a season God is going to use to lead me to another level in our relationship?
2. Is this a moment of judgment on my life. His way of dealing with sin in my life.
3. Is God using this in my life to help draw my kids to Him. I have a few that aren’t following Christ at all. Maybe this would be His instrument?
I don’t have answers to ANY of these questions, but they are legitimate concerns.
I am sacred, concerned, and anticipating what God has for me.
I’ll let you know.